Sorry to disappoint you but this isn’t what you’re looking for.
For the uninitiated, this is in fact an online journal of boy’s journey through life.
He has always been a precocious child. His inner psyche balanced precariously between the precipitous descent into dangerous delusional fantasy and the treacherous murky waters of mind-numbing logic. Desire and fear contend for the mastery of the young impressionable mind. The mind becomes a battlefield for which the personified emotions keep at their ever raging battle while his shade is ensnared between them, torn asunder and left bewildered. Pragmatism and perfectionism are wrought in the endless struggle for supremacy, destined never to see an end to their epic quest to usurp the mind of this individual.
He could be classified as your classical introvert. Appearing sullen, reticent and distant to strangers but really possess an effervescent and flamboyant personality as testified by his acquaintances. He behaves so because he is of fearful of rejection and ridicule. He tries to use his acerbic and acid wit to impress people but not all share his humour and fewer appreciate the feeble attempts to impress. He tries to be nice to everybody because he believes in the ethic of reciprocity (ie the Golden Rule of doing unto others what you would have them do unto you as cited from the scriptures) and abides by it. However people doubt his professionalism and even question if his motives were truly altruistic.
He seriously lacks the initiative to approach others and is unable to sustain decent conversation due to his often straight-forward responses which would land him in embarrassingly confrontational situations. He finds it extremely draining having to get to know people and efforts at maintaining relationships have been disastrous. His awkward and often bizarre reactions to happenings around him deter people from befriending him. His innate inability to communicate has often leads others to think that he’s highly judgemental, often criticising others from his lofty pedestal of hypocrisy. Detachment of his emotions thwarts his laughable and pathetic attempts at establishing friendships as he comes across as insincere and sarcastic. Not asking how you're doing in a long time simply means the author cares too much but is too afraid to inquire.
Shyness used to be such a big plus point when the author was small. Relatives would be swooning over him lavishing him with high praise on how well behaved and mannered he is, constantly drawing comparisons between him and their child. Slowly he realises that it's more of a curse than a gift and that truly is a debilitating character trait. Imagine the puzzlement of walking along the corridor of classes and not finding a familiar face. You feel so foreign. That's why the author is thankful to have made a few bosom friends, especially his BFF. It was definitely destiny that they were in the same class for 9 out of the 12 years that they were schooled together. And to top that off they were in the same company, platoon and section in BMT. Life truly is good to him. The author has grown so comfortable with these few people that he never really saw the need to get to know others.
So give this poor handicap a chance of warming up to you and give yourself a chance to experience the entire gamut of emotions from befriending such a person. But in the mean time you might very well have to put up with his third facet of his personality.
Be prepared to hear from his alter-ego self as he exploits the unbridled freedom of expression and anonymity of the Internet to complain about the incompetence of people around him as he whines about the drudgery of work. Listen to him ramble on for pages at a time about his delusional grandeur of self and how he imposes his overbearing ego on others, making things really inconvenient. Be prepared to be bored to tears with his exaggeration of all that is trivial and his incessant nit-picking as testified by his exasperated co-workers and friends. He is indeed quite the detestable fellow who’s completely oblivious to the feelings of others.
His alter ego self speaks...
“Shut up please! I'm very busy and important!”
Why am i being nice here? Oh wait, that's just one of the many inborn virtues which i humbly possess. However you don't see me flaunting it because my thoughtfulness and sensitivity towards others prevents me from doing so, pricking my conscience every time I have to urge to correct the imperfection in you. I realise that there's no point trying to correct you since perfection only manifest itself in one form and that's through me. Often I’m labelled cynical of which I’m the exact opposite. When I correct you it's for your own good. I chose to correct you out of the broadness of my heart, in spite of people viewing me in a negative light. Other times I just hold back sparing you from utter humiliation. Correction only subjects you and your miserable life to further shame. Tolerance is my way of bridging the ever widening gap between you and me. My modesty embarrasses me at times. Oh! There you have it people, another virtue which i humbly possess. I'm not being egoistic here people, it's just that my parents thought me never to lie. Yes sometimes it's hard to accept me (a.k.a perfect), which is everything you're not. However you must understand that it takes a greater and conscious effort on my part bringing myself down to your level to accept you. Don't blame yourself. LEARNING TO ACCEPT ONESELF IS THE FIRST STEP TO ACKNOWLEDGING MY GREATNESS.
The good thing benefiting from using such a web address is that in the event that he becomes too lazy and his life eventually fades into oblivion because of his lack of friends, he could always post lewd pictures to boost readership. Good things come to those who wait.
For those who need a picture to fit the description, here's it
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