Pink is the new Black

Watched Harry Potter last Thursday 120707 and despite garnering lukewarm reviews for itself, I thought that the movie was rather nice. Granted that the crowd was overtly enthusiastic; screaming, clapping, whistling and chanting in unison, I enjoyed the film tremendously.

Evil is swathed in the most hideous shade of colour for this movie, poisonous pink. Dolores Umbridge is wonderfully played by Imelda Staunton. She is the amalgamation of all our worst school teachers, a chronically strict and arrogant instructor who seeks only to carry out the ministry’s fullest intention in suppressing and denying the news of the resurgence of Lord Voldermort (wonder if I’m tagged? Eww…so geeky). The despicable, petty government functionary masks her prejudice and sadism in blinkered loyalty to her irrationally paranoid boss Cornelius Fudge. Her acting was subtly nuanced; nonchalantly sipping tea, savoring every ounce of exquisite agony derived from executing medieval methods of torture on her students. Her words are gilded with sarcasm and speeches filled with poisonous accusatory insinuations. She seems to echo my junior college principle in the way she pronounces her cruel diktats with a passive-aggressive feminine sweetness. The insincerity and artificialness of her dull but precisely memorized speeches clearly articulates the sinister intentions of the ministry and is similar to how they choose to instill “loyalty” back at ACJC. Her annoying silvery throat-clearing cough which she uses so rudely to interrupt everybody whenever she hears or sees something she violently disagrees with is exactly how I imagined it when I was reading the book. Pink and perky, she soon becomes the students' nightmare: a cheery commissar whose smile gradually fades away revealing a face of cruel malignity with a mouth contorted into an otherworldly rictus.

You may be wondering why I am talking so much about Umbridge. Well that’s because she has been allowed to dominate the screen time for far too long, proving to be a great distraction to the story. Because of the lack of judicial distribution of screen time (although Alex would disagree and tell you that everybody has precisely 15 minutes...pffth TJC always has to be right...anyways), this series continues in it’s unwavering tradition of endorsing a shocking waste of talent which includes Maggie Smith (Minerva MacGonagall), Emma Thompson (Sybil Trelawney); both of whom I simply adore and Julia Walters (Mrs. Weasley) just to name but a few. However the thespians truly owned the small snippets of screen time which they share with their younger co-stars. It’s nice to see Alan Rickman (Severus Snape) in a more active role other than his watered-down camos of forcing Harry and Ron to study.

I’m glad that Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) has taken heed to what critics have been lamenting about for the past 4 films. To say that she’s overly melodramatic is stating the obvious. Only she has been so oblivious to the alarming fact of her deplorable acting and blatantly ignores the overwhelming responses to that. Darling there’s more to acting than frowning and it’s a movie not a soap opera so spare us your theatrics. With that said Evanna Lynch (Luna Lovegood) is a breath of fresh air. No more Little Miss confused a.k.a. Hermione hogging the silver screen thank god. And I know I’ll be saying this for the umpteenth time but I simply love her eyes. So pretty.

There are many out there bemoaning the fact that her longest book having being reduced into the shortest film yet produced sacrifices too much narrative for effects. But then again by consensus it's not really her best work. I don’t see how this should hinder us from enjoying the movie. The stark difference between watching and reading is that a movie manages to capture a scene what a book tries to achieve in many words. J. K. Rowling’s strengths are her arresting narrative and vivid description of characters which I think was well captured in the movie. The intensely breath taking magic duels in the cavernous blacked tiled Ministry of Magic, the clandestine and illicit “army” spearheaded by Harry and the broom rides through London is simply magic. Although I wish they had taken more time to introduce the newer characters instead of just flooding us with so many new faces. I mean I don’t even know who they are until I see the credits and these are people who are going to reappear in the later books.

Oh dear i just realised that my blog's pink haha.

Ring any bells? An all too familiar sight haha

I have my reservations about *ahem*

What defines your sexuality?

Just because you make delicate French pastries doesn’t make you, dare I say the taboo and highly derogatory term, gay? Can we only settle for butch “manly” cookies with chucks?

Are we only to settle for mind numbing, highly offensive novelty gangster rap?

Readily brushing aside intimate, introspective films and deeming them as inappropriate on the grounds that’s it’s effeminate to feel and empathize?

Recently Alex asked why on earth would I pay good money and go watch a sappy movie such as “No Reservations”. I threw the question back at him and asked why not? Is it because one might feel emasculated by the show? But of course a real man who is comfortable with his sexuality wouldn’t be unduly perturbed by a trivial movie. Since when did watching fantasy films of exotic girls with asses that wouldn’t quit become a measure of “macho-ness”? How is watching wrestling a litmus test of being heterosexual? Do we really need to watch sweaty men pitting sheer brute strength against one another with their writhing bodies theatrically thrown about to jolt the testosterones? If a film is all it takes to threaten one’s sexuality then I think we have a serious problem. We have to stop living the lie people. It’s quite laughable now that I’m penning it down on paper. It sounds absurd and exaggerated but that is exactly how people are reacting. It is the typical mould of how boys should and must be behave. A true man sheds blood, never tears. Yar if you like live in the Middle Ages where a careless brush against the hand of a woman is enough to make her pregnant.

What’s with the constant swearing and maniacal fervour of objectifying women? Alex asked if I could introduce him to the girls I know. I replied that they would probably be so soured by the experience that they would definitely become lesbians if they manage to survive the traumatizing ordeal of going on a date with him. Of course I didn’t mean it in an offensive way. All was done in good humour. You have to be in that moment to fully appreciate the spontaneity and genius-ness of the retort.

Of course there’re always two side to any situation and I’m sure I need not elaborate on what is considered as too sensitive although I must say the unwritten law of acceptable male social conduct needs to be updated pronto. People can be so shallow and narrow-minded at times.

Anyways i can't wait to watch "No Reservations". Joey says that Catherine Zeta-Jones baths her hair in cavier to keep it all black and glossy but it's like 700 plus per treatment. And she uses truffle oil too. Sounds like she's cooking her hair. Maybe she's taking her role too seriously. Haha. Rich people do find the strangest way to splurge. Sneaks on 21st July but i have to wait till 6 September before it shows here. Irritating. Grr...

I think i taste my shampoo

AGO

Sorry been busy recently. Well so much has been happening that i haven't had much time to recollect. In the mean time here's a review i did for the Singapore chapter of the American Guild of Organist (AGO). Quite embarrassing really haha. They butchered the original review and drastically shortened it. It's sickeningly optimistic now but you have got to admit it's much more accessible and readable now. I mean who actually cares about structure and harmony right? Just read the review and by pass the photo. It's terribly unflattering and i have the forehead of "Luo Han". Woe to me. haha.

So here's the link. Proceed at your own risk.
http://www.singaporeago.org/